January 19, 2015

2015 Mediocre Goals.


I write new year resolutions every year. And very much like you, I don't fulfil very many of them but instead, change the date and recycle them for the next year. 

This year, I want to set more attainable goals. Mediocre but realistic. Lower standards so there is less room for disappointment.

Cause all you kids with Asian parents know what it's like to live with high standards. Is your mother always right or is your mother always right?


1. Lose Weight. Be More Active.


God knows I won't do cardio even if you pointed a gun at my mother's head but some sports are bearable even fun, like badminton or swimming. I will take the stairs as often as I can without perspiring and not take the lift one floor up when the escalator breaks down. I will stop hoarding potato chips and cut back on those supper nights. I should probably lay off the beer as well.

Perhaps in 2016.


2. Talk. Have meaningful conversations. 

I realized that my parents are getting older by the day, and lately, they have been more dependent on me (not financially of course, not on their unemployed daughter) but rather, more emotionally dependent. Now that my brother is too faraway, I should take a more active role in spending time with them; do little things like going on market runs with my dad or taking my mother out on dinner dates. 


3. Work for money on my strengths. 

I have been in and out of jobs so often in the past two years that LinkedIn can't keep up. This year, I have chosen to focus more on my strengths instead of the promise of money and prestige. I really hope that the position falls through and I am able to do what I am (supposedly) good at. I want to be a better employee and colleague, to be able to contribute to and produce high quality work. I should be more punctual to work as well. 

Perhaps in 2016.



4. Write what you want. Challenge my writing. 

2015 has presented me with a lot of opportunities ever since this post went viral. I don't want to spoil anything but I am working on something amazing and I can't wait to properly share it with you.  I want my writing to cover more than heartbreaks and indigestion, to really push the boundaries of what I am comfortable with. I want to write more, not only when I get dumped, but to sharpen and hone the skill to get better at it every day. 

I want to move people with my writing. To stir them to action, to uplift and encourage, perhaps even shed a tear. 


5. Be a good Facebook friend.


I'll be honest with you - I don't have many friends. Sure, I am friendly with everyone but the number of people I can confide in, I can probably count with the fingers on one hand. I want to be a better friend. Be more encouraging and kinder with words and actions. For example, go see my best friend who lives 5 minutes away more than twice a month and use her toilet, put in the effort to keep in touch with those faraway and reply my 2015 Whatsapp conversations in 2015. 


6. Find someone to  love me. 

I am so used to being someone's that being alone proves to be a challenge every day. But I want 2015 to be a year of waiting. To wait not for the perfect guy, but rather, wait for my heart to be ready. That instead of jumping into another relationship, I spend time getting to know a person, building strong foundations before taking it any further. Instead of wanting to 'meet someone with low enough standards and wants to date me', 2015 will be a time of being the best person that I can possibly be, to be sure of myself as an individual and what I want in my future partner.

But still, you can apply here and I will get back to you in 2016. 


7. Make church-going God a part of my life. 


I went back to church after three years of not doing so. I supposed it's normal that when your entire world falls apart, you would naturally turn back to God. But I don't want this to be a temporary fix, that when the wounds scab over, I'd stop going. I want to be more involved in the ministry, perhaps go back to serving in the praise and worship team. I want to make God an everyday part of my life, rather than a convenience store


2014 has been a challenging year and made me cry buckets and buckets of tears. I'd be lying if I said that I was glad for everything that had happened. But it did, and because I was trapped between a rock and a hard place, I had no choice but to grow upwards. It left me battered and bruised but it also demanded that I learn and be grateful for the lessons learned. 2014 has been a bitch, but I am a better person because of it. 


2015, give me all that you got.